Mr. Burns: Marge, what can we do?
Marge: Well, you could give them healthier snacks… theme days…
Mr. Burns: You mean like, “Child Labor Day?”
Marge: Mmm. Actually I was thinking of “Funny Hat Day.”
Smithers, my heart’s pounding like a jackhammer.
Now here’s a film that will turn you into a vicious, soulless killer.
Homer: Uh, Mr. Burns… I need to borrow some money.
Mr. Burns: Please, do go on…
Homer: I know you’re a good man, and I have a dog that’s very sick…
Mr. Burns: Oh, please, continue.
Homer: I thought maybe you… [seeing guards] Oh. Well, thanks for your time.
Mr. Burns: If I tug the bill of my cap like so…
Mr. Burns: …it means the signal is a fake.
Homer: Uh uh.
Mr. Burns: However, I can take that off by dusting my hands thusly.
Homer: Got it.
Mr. Burns: If I want you to bunt, I will touch my belt buckle not once, not twice, but thrice! If I tug this ear, it means I’m telling you to take the pitch. If I tug this ear…
Homer’s brain: Uh-oh. I don’t understand a word he’s saying. Why doesn’t he just let me bat? I wish I was home with a big bag of potato chips… Mmm potato chips.
Mr. Burns: …people will think I’m bidding you “Good day,” when in fact I’m telling you to swing for the fences! Got that Simpson?
Homer: Yes, sir!